the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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