Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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