I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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