holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
