i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
