Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
