Porn is love you can see.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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