Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
