Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
