I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
