VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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