that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize