no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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