I wanna bring you to show and tell
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
