The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
