Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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