Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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