i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize