I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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