And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
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well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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