I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
