You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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