I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
