ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
