Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
