Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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