You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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