Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
