who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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