I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
