YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
