Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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