I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
