Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I enjoy the company of your penis
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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