i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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