You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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