Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
