I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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