went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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