Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
