that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
