i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
