I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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