girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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