There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize