i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
