i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Never underestimate the power of titties
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
