One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
