I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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