is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
