No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
