You work out of a Hotel?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize