Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
