Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
