My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
