you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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