I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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