We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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