I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
